Carlton Lawson

Today October 21, 2017 will be the funeral for my mother’s cousin Carlton Lawson at Faith Temple in Montego Bay. He grew up in St Elizabeth and lived in Montego Bay for many years. He was the Vice Principal of St James High (formerly known as Montego Bay Senior School) before he retired. Carlton is the true example of a hardworking man.He and his wife Naina were firm believers in education and she is one person who had unwavering belief and faith in my academic abilities, even more than I had in myself. Her constant encouragement kept me going at times when I felt like I couldn’t go on. Carlton chose this strong woman to be his lifetime partner and they are well respected in their community for their many years of service to Montego Bay’s young people. This man never knew what it meant to sit down and take a rest. He was always working whenever I went to visit him. Always working to make sure his family was well taken care of, had food on their table and shelter over their heads. If you want to imagine what my mom looked like, imagine a woman with Carlton Lawson’s face. They were first cousins and they grew up in St Elizabeth with a host of other cousins. My mother was very close to all of her cousins and in her love for spending time with family, she took me to visit Carlton and his family as often as she could. I thank God for the life of my cousin. He has touched the lives of many people in Montego Bay, at church, at St James High where he worked for many years as a teacher before being appointed as Vice Principal, in his community. Thank you for all you taught me through example and may you rest in God’s arms and may your wife and sons be comforted.

Montego Bay does not have a public hospital.

Montego Bay does not have a public hospital. Yes, in the year 2017. The second city of Jamaica does not have a public hospital to serve it’s citizens. What a national disgrace. 

Of course I would like to build a new hospital. I have sick family there. Now how do I go about doing that?

I have failed my family in Montego Bay

The first time I wrote this blog, many people didn't get it. So let me help you out. When you read this blog, whenever you see "I" or "my", insert your name...and whenever you see "Montego Bay", insert the name of your city, town, district or village...

Dear Montego Bay ( and the rest of Jamaica),

Let us stop the hypocrisy and denial right now! Who is to be blamed for the generation of cold, heartless killers in Montego bay?  We are. We cannot point fingers at anyone else but ourselves. Who are these cold, heartless killers? These vipers that are killing people?  They are our family. They are our sons, daughters, nieces, nephews, cousins, uncles, aunts…they are our family. Yes, these cold heartless killers are my sons, my daughters, my nieces, my nephews, my cousins, my uncles, my aunts, my husbands, my wives, my boyfriends, my girlfriends, my best friends, my neighbors. Yes my family is killing people and scamming elderly American citizens of their lifesavings, their 401K and retirement plans. We can try to distance ourselves from these “murderers and suicidal youths” and point fingers at the government…or we can accept the fact that we have failed these brilliant young minds and allowed them to become the senseless killers they are today. Not just “we”, but “me”. Not “they” have failed the youths, but “I” have failed my family in Montego Bay and (you who are reading this blog, please insert the name of your community here).

Now it has hit close to home. It has become uncomfortable. The government has imposed a curfew on Mt Salem. My childhood community.

Let me stay over here in denial and pretend like I didn’t grow up with these heartless killers. Let me point fingers at “these kids nowadays” and their wicked, lazy parents. Who are these kids? Who do they belong to?  You saw these kids being born at Cornwall Regional Hospital. You were at their baby showers.You taught these kids at school. You gave them lunch money. Their parents loaned you money to buy your first car. You slept on their parents couch when your landlord evicted you. Their parents loaned you money to buy your plane ticket to go to school in Miami, with the hope that you would remember them and help them one day. You and their parents were in the same partner plan (the same partner draw that helped you to put down the first deposit on your NHT house). So now that you have a job, have a home, have a nice car, your kids are at the university, how dare you turn your back on these kids who are your own blood. They are not your children? Then who do they belong to? They are not your family? Then whose family are they? Let me get this straight. You watched these kids grow up in the same community, same tenement yard that you did, they have your last name, they have your DNA and now that they have become senseless killers you don’t know them. Stop the lies. Stop the hypocrisy! These kids are our family. Yes, these kids are raping, stealing, scamming, killing, hooked on drugs and alcohol. No we can't take them back to the store like some rotten tomatoes. We have to deal with who they have become and help them regain control of their lives. No this problem can't be fixed by tomorrow morning.The JLP can't fix it. Th PNP can't fix it.  It cant be fixed by throwing all of them in jail either. These problems are going to take more than 20 years or more to fix. We are going to need pastors, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, counselors, teachers. We are going to need a mother’s love. A father’s love. We are going to need the type of patience, understanding, caring only loving families can give.

But it’s not my problem you may say…as long as I go to work and I come home and my family is not killed, I don’t have to worry about them. Nothing can be done about them. Let the government, put more money into building more prisons and training more police for them.

So whose fault is it? How did they become this way?

It’s actually my fault.

Yes. My fault. I stood by and watched  selfish businessmen build all-inclusive hotels and I did not demand from my local government to mandate that these businessmen invest in programs to help my family;

I just stood there and said nothing, did nothing while my local government allowed foreign investors to use my kids in call centers and disgrace me and my kids by accusing us of being thieves and scammers, after they scammed me out of the millions they were making from these call centers while only paying me below minimum wage;

 I just stood there and did nothing when selfish business men demanded that my kids give their clients service with a smile and allowed them to convince me that me and my kids should accept no tips;

 I just stood there, did nothing and said nothing while millions of tourists visit my home with the intention of giving me money in return for my hospitality and service, and I watched as selfish business owners benefitted from these tourists and I did not hold my local government accountable for ensuring that the money stays in the local economy;

 Yes. I did that. Me.

So you think we should just throw all of our family members in jail? Really? Who is going to take care of you when you are old? Who is going to continue to build your community that you will live in when you are old? Yes. These heartless senseless killers. When they return from prison, they are coming back for you.

How am I going to fix the problem of my family who have become murderers and suicidal youths? First I have to admit that I have been in denial. Then I have to take ownership of my mistakes. Then I have to put away my pride and seek help for the problems my family face. I have to accept that these murderers and suicidal youths are brilliant young minds that have been allowed to become corrupted and that they are worth saving. I have to seek help for my kids before they become murderous and suicidal. Whatever happened to teaching children about morals and values?  I have to teach my child right from wrong. I have to teach and show my child discipline.  I have to help my child understand that there are consequences to every decision, whether that decision is right or wrong. I have to teach my child to be accountable for his or her actions. I have to speak up when I see other parents allowing their children to do wrong. I have to hold my family, my friends and members of my community accountable for the decisions they allow their children to make. If I don't take the time to train my children correctly and work with my community to ensure that all the children are being raised with morals and values, I can't just expect the government to rush in and fix the problem when my children grow up to be murderous, suicidal, cold, heartless vipers. I have to realise that it is going to be a long, hard, painful process, but in the end it is worth it. Because with God, as long as there is life, there is hope.

Embracing my maroon family history

Thesis: Understanding one’s family history is very important in helping to shape one’s character and personal growth and development.

In this blog, I will discuss  my family history. My family history is very important to me because it helped me to understand who I am and to embrace my strengths and weaknesses.  Understanding one’s family history is very important in helping to shape one’s character and personal growth and development .  When I was growing up, my grandmother told me that our family were descendants of a great Jamaican leader. The leader was a woman called Nanny of the Maroons.  Nanny was the first woman in History to cause the British to sign a peace treaty with slaves in Jamaica. Nanny was one of the leaders of the Maroons who were runaway slaves. Nanny was also from the Ashanti warrior tribe of Ghana. Today in Jamaica, Nanny is recognized  as a National Hero of Jamaica and her portrait  has been used on Jamaican currency.

The maroons were a group of rebel slaves. They ran away from the plantations and formed their own government in the hills of Jamaica. The territory they occupied was dangerous. The area is known today as the cockpit country. This land  is made up of sharp limestone rocks. They understood the hills and were able to successfully evade the British. They understood how to survive on the land , to find food and water, something that was mind boggling to the British at that time. Many british soldiers who tried to capture the maroons died while doing so because they did not understand the terrain of the land and some starved because they were unable to find food and water. After  starving and having a hard time to survive, they were forced to sign a peace treaty with the Maroons . This was a result of Nanny’s leadership. This Treaty was signed in the year     .   The treaty  would allow the Maroons to live in peace and keep their own government and in return, the Maroons would teach  the British how to survive in this land and how to find food and water.

At the time when my Grandmother told me this important part of my history, that I was a descendant of Nanny, I did not understand the importance. Now that she has passed away, I wish I had gotten the chance to be around her more, to learn more of my family history. In the community known as Maroon Town, St James,  my Grandmother was very well known. She moved from her community in Portland, to Maroon Town St. James when she was young. She was six (6) feet tall and was a  very beautiful and confident woman. She was very strong physically. She was also known to fight any man that tried to challenge her. She was  however well liked by her community and a very generous person. She had six (6) children, of which my father was the last, and she also took care of many other children who did not belong to her. She lived to be one hundred (100) years old. Up until about age 92, she was still very active, she would walk down to the town center, she still had some of her own teeth, her skin was very nice, she had a sharp memory, she loved to talk. She looked thirty years younger than her real age. After age ninety two (92) however, her brain started to degenerate and she eventually succumbed to alzheimer’s disease. 

I  feel very proud whenever I think of my Grandmother and also my Ancestor, nanny of the Maroons.  I have learnt to understand more about myself, my behavior and my life goals. I am very community centered. I take great pride in being involved in community activities, volunteering and giving back to the community. My ambition is to use my abilities and skills to become a community activist and philanthropist like Oprah Winfrey whose  life and work  is a great inspiration to me. Understanding my family history has also helped me to understand my personal traits, for example, I am very competitive, I always take on leadership roles in various clubs and organizations, I am very ambitious and sometimes have huge surges of confidence to do things that most people would shy away from. Sometimes I look back at my achievements and wonder where the confidence comes from.

In conclusion, understanding my family history has been  very important for me. It has helped me to recognize my strengths and weaknesses, it has helped me to appreciate my family heritage more and understand their behavior, it has given me pride and confidence that has helped me to cope in times when I feel low. I am proud of the history of the Maroons, my ancestor known as Nanny and all that she did to help to fight for the freedom of  slaves. It has given me hope for the future, to one day use my abilities to make a lasting positive impact on my community. I have been able to research more about the Jamaican maroon tribe and their contribution to the Jamaican society, appreciate my grandmother’s  role in her community. Understanding one’s family history is very important in helping to shape one’s character and personal growth and development.