I have failed my family in Montego Bay

The first time I wrote this blog, many people didn't get it. So let me help you out. When you read this blog, whenever you see "I" or "my", insert your name...and whenever you see "Montego Bay", insert the name of your city, town, district or village...

Dear Montego Bay ( and the rest of Jamaica),

Let us stop the hypocrisy and denial right now! Who is to be blamed for the generation of cold, heartless killers in Montego bay?  We are. We cannot point fingers at anyone else but ourselves. Who are these cold, heartless killers? These vipers that are killing people?  They are our family. They are our sons, daughters, nieces, nephews, cousins, uncles, aunts…they are our family. Yes, these cold heartless killers are my sons, my daughters, my nieces, my nephews, my cousins, my uncles, my aunts, my husbands, my wives, my boyfriends, my girlfriends, my best friends, my neighbors. Yes my family is killing people and scamming elderly American citizens of their lifesavings, their 401K and retirement plans. We can try to distance ourselves from these “murderers and suicidal youths” and point fingers at the government…or we can accept the fact that we have failed these brilliant young minds and allowed them to become the senseless killers they are today. Not just “we”, but “me”. Not “they” have failed the youths, but “I” have failed my family in Montego Bay and (you who are reading this blog, please insert the name of your community here).

Now it has hit close to home. It has become uncomfortable. The government has imposed a curfew on Mt Salem. My childhood community.

Let me stay over here in denial and pretend like I didn’t grow up with these heartless killers. Let me point fingers at “these kids nowadays” and their wicked, lazy parents. Who are these kids? Who do they belong to?  You saw these kids being born at Cornwall Regional Hospital. You were at their baby showers.You taught these kids at school. You gave them lunch money. Their parents loaned you money to buy your first car. You slept on their parents couch when your landlord evicted you. Their parents loaned you money to buy your plane ticket to go to school in Miami, with the hope that you would remember them and help them one day. You and their parents were in the same partner plan (the same partner draw that helped you to put down the first deposit on your NHT house). So now that you have a job, have a home, have a nice car, your kids are at the university, how dare you turn your back on these kids who are your own blood. They are not your children? Then who do they belong to? They are not your family? Then whose family are they? Let me get this straight. You watched these kids grow up in the same community, same tenement yard that you did, they have your last name, they have your DNA and now that they have become senseless killers you don’t know them. Stop the lies. Stop the hypocrisy! These kids are our family. Yes, these kids are raping, stealing, scamming, killing, hooked on drugs and alcohol. No we can't take them back to the store like some rotten tomatoes. We have to deal with who they have become and help them regain control of their lives. No this problem can't be fixed by tomorrow morning.The JLP can't fix it. Th PNP can't fix it.  It cant be fixed by throwing all of them in jail either. These problems are going to take more than 20 years or more to fix. We are going to need pastors, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, counselors, teachers. We are going to need a mother’s love. A father’s love. We are going to need the type of patience, understanding, caring only loving families can give.

But it’s not my problem you may say…as long as I go to work and I come home and my family is not killed, I don’t have to worry about them. Nothing can be done about them. Let the government, put more money into building more prisons and training more police for them.

So whose fault is it? How did they become this way?

It’s actually my fault.

Yes. My fault. I stood by and watched  selfish businessmen build all-inclusive hotels and I did not demand from my local government to mandate that these businessmen invest in programs to help my family;

I just stood there and said nothing, did nothing while my local government allowed foreign investors to use my kids in call centers and disgrace me and my kids by accusing us of being thieves and scammers, after they scammed me out of the millions they were making from these call centers while only paying me below minimum wage;

 I just stood there and did nothing when selfish business men demanded that my kids give their clients service with a smile and allowed them to convince me that me and my kids should accept no tips;

 I just stood there, did nothing and said nothing while millions of tourists visit my home with the intention of giving me money in return for my hospitality and service, and I watched as selfish business owners benefitted from these tourists and I did not hold my local government accountable for ensuring that the money stays in the local economy;

 Yes. I did that. Me.

So you think we should just throw all of our family members in jail? Really? Who is going to take care of you when you are old? Who is going to continue to build your community that you will live in when you are old? Yes. These heartless senseless killers. When they return from prison, they are coming back for you.

How am I going to fix the problem of my family who have become murderers and suicidal youths? First I have to admit that I have been in denial. Then I have to take ownership of my mistakes. Then I have to put away my pride and seek help for the problems my family face. I have to accept that these murderers and suicidal youths are brilliant young minds that have been allowed to become corrupted and that they are worth saving. I have to seek help for my kids before they become murderous and suicidal. Whatever happened to teaching children about morals and values?  I have to teach my child right from wrong. I have to teach and show my child discipline.  I have to help my child understand that there are consequences to every decision, whether that decision is right or wrong. I have to teach my child to be accountable for his or her actions. I have to speak up when I see other parents allowing their children to do wrong. I have to hold my family, my friends and members of my community accountable for the decisions they allow their children to make. If I don't take the time to train my children correctly and work with my community to ensure that all the children are being raised with morals and values, I can't just expect the government to rush in and fix the problem when my children grow up to be murderous, suicidal, cold, heartless vipers. I have to realise that it is going to be a long, hard, painful process, but in the end it is worth it. Because with God, as long as there is life, there is hope.